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a first …

The start of 2020 as we all know has unexpectedly changed the norm and half of the year will soon pass by.

A new decade. A global pandemic. Me turning 40.

That’s right. I turned 40 three months ago and have developed this urge to … who knows. I know I feel change. Whatever that means.

So here I am writing, in hopes that through my thoughts and curiosity … I find my own voice and figure out a few things along the way.

My first question is… when you turned 40, did something nudge you differently? or was it just another day?

Age was always a number to me. I still think it’s just a number but why am I starting to feel different? Could it be a midlife crisis? I don’t feel that way, but I am not quite sure. All I know is that I can’t ignore or shake this feeling off. It’s not a bad feeling, it’s just unknown.

My gut instincts want: to be selfish, to be liberated, to find my voice, to be a better human, to ask questions, to get to know me… to be happy*.

Share with me.

*The word happy. To me, it’s a big word. Why? The depth of happy would be boundless. Happy on the surface. Happy from the inside. Is the level of my happiness ever enough? When I feel happy, is it real? The word is so simple yet so complicated but somehow, I still want it.


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